Let’s just be honest here. We all are freaked out about raising kids. All moms fear messing up our kids big time. Like, they will need therapy big.
When my kids were younger, parenting felt tough, but manageable. Daughter has temper-tantrums? There’s a book, a blog post, or at least advise from a friend to make it better. Some was true for potty training, getting kids to eat new foods, teaching them to share, and the friends they made (because we controlled where they could go and who they were with).
Now I am in the trenches of teenage and pre-teen years and everything that worked then doesn’t work today. And honestly, if I didn’t do the work then, now would be hopeless. Not that I did everything right then, but I pray I did some of it right.
Some days it’s pretty dang daunting. Just when I think I can sit back and enjoy the calm, one of my girls throws me a grenade. Catch, mom!
Now days it can be any number of things….friendship drama, drinking, sex, lying, social media, drugs, failing grades…you name it. And they all seem like life or death situations.
They are not life and death, usually. We all make mistakes. It’s a part of life and learning and growing. It’s part of our story. But, I still want their life to be easier with less drama.
I want to save them. Save them from making decisions that could affect the rest of their lives. A wise person once said, “The choices you made yesterday have consequences today and follow you tomorrow.”
I want to save them, but I can’t. They will go their own way.
Even if I dragged them to church all through their youth. Today they don’t want to go. I pray over and over, “Lord, please guide my girls to what is right. Guide their hearts to stay on a good and clear path.”
I want them to know Jesus, but I also know that He knows them better than I, and He has a plan for them. It’s not my let’s-make-this-easy plan. It’s really His plan, His way. They are His, I just get to be their mom on earth.
I remind myself that my road to Jesus was not a straight path either. Not attending church doesn’t mean they are not believers. Not going to church youth group events or Bible study doesn’t mean He is not with them. Going to events that are not “righteous” doesn’t mean He is not there too. These are not barriers to Him. He is everywhere. He meets them where they are.
He has a plan for them…it will go His way.
I pray that doing the work when they were young, laying the foundation of His love will set the path for their future.
They will go their own way, not my way. They will grow to question and believe differently than me or my husband. That doesn’t mean they won’t believe some of what we believe, too. But they are their own person. They will be who they are. Who He meant them to be.
Ultimately, I hope to raise kind humans. Humans who are empathetic to others, care for others, and listen to others. I want humans who know Jesus’ love for them and love Him. We need more kind in this world. We need more love in this world.
I will keep praying for Him to find them right where they are…because they will go their own way.