I’ve officially been a mother now for a little over 14 years. Long gone are the days of having a new-born who won’t sleep through the night. Those days were so awkward. I didn’t know what the heck I was doing, what was the “right” way to do this mothering thing.
There were so many questions. And when I finally thought I had it figured out, she would grow into a new stage of life and leave me standing there like Bambi on ice, trying to get my footing.
Fourteen years and most days I still feel like Bambi. I still feel like a new mother who just brought her baby home from the hospital. Except she is now a teenager.
Having two kids doesn’t help because what worked for the first-born doesn’t always work for the second-born. They are different little people with different temperaments. And I am raising a brand new-born 10-year-old too. Who is growing up way too fast for me.
I will always be new a mother, no matter how long I have been mothering.
When I brought home my first-born, I had never held a baby of my own. Now, I have never raised a teenager. And, she has never been a teenager before. We are both new at this. Some days are winning days, some days aren’t.
Being a mother can be really hard, people. That makes me think of those first few months with a colic new-born. And I want to cry just like she did.
It can be really cool too. When she can’t wait to tell me about stuff that happened at school, or the plans she has for homecoming, or when we are bonding looking at my old yearbooks. Those are the moments that make my mama heart sing.
These are the moments I live for, that I need more of.
Because soon I will be a new mother of an adult child, a new mother of a college student, a new mother of a twenty-something, a new mother of a married child, and so on.
I will always be a new mother. For as long as I live.