My 8-year-old has been wanting her ears pierced for two years. When we stop at Claire’s in the mall, she admires the pierced earrings, longing for the day she can wear them.
That day finally came this past February. She got brave for a moment. She found the courage to endure the pain of ear piercing. Also, she was lured by a pair of sparkly teal dangle earrings.
Two days before the 6th week mark, when her earrings could be changed out, one of her ears became infected. She had to remove the piercing. Four weeks later the one remaining earring needed to be removed to clean the backing. She refused to put it back in her ear. It was too painful.
She thought she was ready for the responsibility of pierced ears. All her friends have pierced ears, after all. Having pierced ears looked like fun. And, they are pretty.
Sometimes you need a do -over.
We all do things because “everybody is doing it”, it looks like fun, or we do it because we think we are ready and we jump before we think it all the way through. And sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know about the situation. Then, that decision becomes a big fat mistake.
Things happen that we never could have anticipated and we just need to pull the plug and start over. We need a do-over.
There is no shame is a do-over. It’s an opportunity for a clean slate. It’s an opportunity to exercise the lessons we learned from the previous mistakes. And, hopefully we don’t make the same mistakes twice.
Sometimes you make horrible choices, you hit ‘rock bottom’, life is kicking you in the butt, and you have no choice but to do a do-over. Who couldn’t use a good do-over at one time or another?
When life is kicking you in the butt it is helpful to remember for a few things:
- Hard things happens, but suffering is optional. We are not promised an easy, carefree life. Bad, sad, or scary things will happen. How you react to it is your choice. Choose not to suffer through life.
- Ask for help. No one can do it alone.
- Talk about your mistakes. Talk about it with a trusted friend, family member, health professional, whatever. Admitting you made a mistake is the first step in making it better.
- Give it some thought. Take time to think about what changes you really want to make in your life. Then…
- Make a plan. Write down your plan for your do-over, and stick to it.
- Baby Steps. Change takes time. Do one thing, then move on to the next. Don’t try to tackle your list all at once.
- Let the past go. You can’t move on to the next chapter of your life if you keep reading the last chapter.
- Focus on what gives you joy. Take time to do more of what makes you happy. Spend time with those who you love. Reconnect with joy in your life.
- Break old habits, make new ones. Break your old, destructive habits that lead to you needing a do-over. Replace them with new, positive habits.
- Practice saying “no”. Say “no” to the things that are holding you back in reaching your goals.
- Say “yes” more often. Say “yes” to the things that scare you, the ones that will get you back on track.
- Stop trying to make everything perfect. Perfect is an illusion perpetrated by society. It’s unrealistic and leaves no room for change.
- Remember it’s only a moment, not a lifetime. This rough patch in life is short. Make changes to make things better, and it will get better. Usually not over night, but over time it will get better.
- Have faith everyday. You don’t need to do this life alone. He is always walking with you in your time of need. Pray, talk to Him, unload your fears and ask for guidance.
So, do you need a do-over? Go. Do it. Wake up and be awesome. Make your own rules.