Homework is supposed be for the benefit of my kids. It should only take 20 minutes a night to complete. It says so right in black and white in the school handbook. Insert me laughing, hysterically.
After yet another homework fight with my second grader, I wrote a little I Hate You, Homework list. Because it helps me deal.
Then, I renamed it: 10 Reasons I Hate Doing Homework with My Kids. It‘s eloquent, I know.
- Twenty minutes of crying because the homework instructions are confusing. And we’re talking about me crying here.
- Realizing I am not smarter than a second grader. Or, seventh grader. Or any grader.
- Doing the science fair experiment twice, and we still couldn’t grow crystals. Opt for colored carnations instead, which will never win first place at the science fair. Or, any place.
- Running to four different stores to find sugar cubes to build a small replica of the great pyramids. Buying every box they had. Total spent: $32. Grade: A. Kind of feel like I bought that A.
- Being told, “Your child should complete the majority of this simple machine project.” Then, see the other projects turned in, complete with motorized cranes and laser lights. Obviously, not completed by a second grader.
- Another twenty minutes of tears because…Kid: “That’s not how the teacher told us to do it!” Me: “I don’t care! That’s the answer. Write.It.Down!”
- “Go to your room and calm down,” kid says to me.
- It’s 9 p.m. and I hear this, “I forgot. I need to write a short story using all my 15 spelling words. It’s due tomorrow.”
- No matter how many times I Google explanations to Algebra problems, I will never understand it.
- Homework wastes paper. Save the ink…and the trees. I am a graphic designer and I have never uttered those words in my life, so you know I am serious!
“I love doing homework with my kids!” Said no one. Ever.