I used to say yes to everything. I said yes to things I didn’t want to do, mostly because I felt I “had to”.
Even when my heart said no, my mouth said yes.
I thought that saying yes made me a better wife, mother, friend. Saying yes became a competition with other mothers. Saying no was forbidden. I wore the I-am-so-busy badge with honor.
It didn’t matter that my calendar was full. So full, in fact, I employed the use of two day planners I kept in my purse, and a wall calendar, each color coded with highlighter markers just to keep on track of everything that needed to get done. Seriously. Three calendars.
Saying yes wasn’t making me happier, just crazier. Some people even took advantage of my willingness to say yes. So, I stopped. I stopped saying yes and learned to say no. I said no because my life was a mess, and I thought saying yes was making it messier. I said no because I wanted to make room in my life for something meaningful, to find my “calling”. I viewed those other yeses as meaningless. And, some of them were. Some, not so much.
The problem was my life was still a mess, even when I said no. My calendar was still full. I didn’t have “all the time in the world” to do what was full-filling to me. I still didn’t have time to change the world. I still had anxiety, stress and depression.
When I was young I thought I was going to change the world, do big things. I envy those who are changing the world in small, and big ways.
After years of saying no, I still haven’t found my calling. (I say that as if it is lost.) I haven’t lit the world on fire…yet. Although I have been asking Him to lead me there.
Do other people wake up one day and said, “A-ha! My calling is ____________!”? I don’t think so. I think is is simpler than that. I think it starts with that one little word that I have worked so hard to avoid for so long…
They say, “Yes, God.”
They say yes even though their calendar is full. They say yes even when they are afraid and want to say no. They say yes because He asks them to.
They say yes in their mess.
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I have a couple of things for you today. First, I am reading Rhinestone Jesus by Kristen Welch. I mean, the subtitle says it all: “Saying Yes to God when sparkly, safe faith is not longer enough.”
I am loving this book. It’s Kristen’s story of saying yes to God even when it’s scary and unsafe. It’s the amazing story of the small, and big things that started to happen in her life when she stepped out in faith, listened to God’s request, and said Y-E-S in her mess.
You can buy a copy of the Rhinestone Jesus just about anywhere, but you can get it DaySpring too.
Also, see that graphic on my calendar in the picture above? It’s one of a set of graphics available for free here. Who doesn’t love free stuff? (The graphics are black and white, but I colored it in with colored pencil.)
Are you ready to say yes in your mess? Maybe you don’t know what your yes is yet? That’s okay. Either way, print out the graphics, cut them out, tape them to your mess. It’s a little reminder that saying yes is messy, but so is life. Go one step further and publicly declare it. Take a picture of your mess with the graphic, post to any of your social medias, using the hashtags #yesinmymess #rhinestonejesus.
Then, pray for guidance. Answer the call. Say Y-E-S!
*I am an affiliate for DaySpring, however, the above referral is not a paid affiliate link.