Note to My Daughter: Please Don’t Run Away.

encouraging words

This sign was taped to my 7-year-olds bedroom door. She had been fighting with her big sister…again. I don’t remember what they were fighting about, but she lost her temper.



Slamming of the door.

She was sitting in time-out to calm down. She scribbled this note, then slapped it on the door.

My heart broke.

Losing her temper is almost an everyday occurrence these days. It’s a battle that her and I are fighting. It’s okay to be mad, but not okay to scream, hit, say hurtful words that can’t be taken back.

My sweet Parker,

I wish you could see that it’s not the end of the world. Whatever has got you upset right now. Whatever has got you so mad that you are crying. There are things in this world that deserves screaming and spitting vinegar…but this isn’t one of them.

You will always have a big sister.

You will always be the little sister.

These are two truths.

Another truth: this is only a moment; it won’t last forever. Okay, your big sister may always try to steer you in her perception of the “right way”. But, isn’t that what big sisters are for? To guide and protect?

You are a beautiful little girl; inside and out. You feel deeply. That can be a good thing and a bad thing. You are good at caring for your friends, dogs, and stuffed animals. You are good to your mommy; sweet, loving and tender. There are times when you smother your big sister with that love too.

But, your deep feeling heart sometimes works against you. Hurt words are like knives piercing deeply into your soul. Mean looks are like a slap in the face. Fighting is treated like you’re in the fight of your life.

You are more than the angry place you are in right now.

I want you to know that if you were to run away my heart would burst. Not to hear your laughter would be the worst possible day of my life.

In those dark moments I believe you can take control of your anger. I promise to be there when you feel yourself spinning out of control. I will be there because we are in this together. I believe your wonderful, loving heart will win; because love always wins. I promise to extend you grace in those moments of non-control; but that doesn’t mean there will not be consequences for your actions. And, most of all, I promise to love you, no matter what comes our way, because I only have one Park E. Bear.

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